“The seed of suffering in you may be strong, but don’t wait until you have no more suffering before allowing yourself to be happy.”

Thich Nhat Hahn

A profound and changing insight. That happiness runs perpendicular to suffering. Thich Nhat Hahn explains that we all know suffering, what we must know is how to suffer well. This my friends is a superior lifehack on happiness. Last year I found my life abruptly flipped upside down, it was not the first time and it will not be the last. I have learned to accept and expect this part of life, life happens, crisis is never scheduled. The difference between all the other events of turmoil and this last event was that instead of throwing my hands in the air and getting lost in the chaos, I stuck to my daily wellness routine and signed up for a Yoga Teacher Training. It gave me something good to hold on to and something to look forward to. It is because of this active planning for happiness amidst turmoil that I pulled through, arriving on the other side of the crisis calm and seemingly unstruck.

This was not how I operated during past upheavals. I would have submitted to the havoc and emotional distress. Routine and self-care no longer priority. Letting go of the very habits that contributed the most to my ongoing wellness. The best thing for us to do is develop a daily routine of wellness. My daily routine of wellness consists of yoga, mindfulness, tea, writing and reading inspirational texts, listening to music and sleeping a full 8 hours every night. Now when disaster strikes it is my wellness routine that I lean on, it is my peace within discomfort.

Our society has fanned the flames of drama, hysteria and emotional dysregulation, so much so that we often read people’s response to a crisis or lack thereof as a measurable outcome of authenticity and decency. Judging and criticizing another person if we do not deem them to be sufficiently miserable.

The larger issue here is that it puts us into a tradition of keeping ahold of suffering thinking it will in the end provide comfort if we carry it into each and every day, keeping vigil and post on misery. The reason so many people get lost in suffering is that they keep suffering and happiness separated. I love the concept of a picnic (Dialectical Behavioral Therapy concept, Marsha Linehan.) Finding peace within discomfort is accepting the wind and the ants on the blanket along with the beautiful view, delicious food and delightful company.

The truth is emotional dysregulation and stressing about the outcome will never help you transport yourself to a better tomorrow. It is only in the adoption of acceptance in the moment that will transform your misery to peace. Acceptance of laughter, pain, joy, sadness, acceptance of it all, all at once. Feeling the whole self in every moment.

So go today and start a routine of wellness if you haven’t already. It doesn’t have to be extravagant it can be as simple as grounding yourself with a breathing practice, whatever it is be ritualistic about it. Wellness is a habit. Until next time be well and suffer well.